Life Lately: A New Chapter for Our Family

Well, it's been a while. Actually, a little more than three years since I've written anything here. And to say a lot has changed in those three years would be a pretty big understatement.

Life has taken us in directions we never expected. There have been exciting new beginnings, difficult diagnoses, countless appointments, a whole lot of uncertainty, and plenty of moments that have reminded us just how quickly life can change.

So, I figured it was finally time for a little update on the Fodor family.

Goodbye, Louisiana. Hello, North Carolina!

One of our biggest changes has been saying goodbye to Louisiana and making a new home in the beautiful mountains of western North Carolina.

After spending so many years along the Gulf Coast, we traded the bayous, humidity, and hurricanes for mountain views, changing leaves, and actual seasons. And I have to say, we're loving it!

We settled in Franklin, North Carolina, where we recently finished building our new home. After months of planning, making decisions, dealing with construction, and temporarily living in a camper, we finally moved in this past August.

There's something incredibly special about knowing this is where we're putting down roots. After years of military life and everything that comes with it, we're finally in a place where we can settle down and build the life we've always wanted.

The kids have been adjusting to their new surroundings, and we're enjoying exploring everything this beautiful area has to offer.

The End of an Era: Military Retirement

Another huge milestone happened this year.

After almost 21 years of serving in the United States Coast Guard, Joey officially retired on September 1, 2026!

Military life has been such a significant part of our family's story. It's shaped where we've lived, the people we've met, and so many of the decisions we've made along the way. But after more than two decades of service, that chapter has officially come to an end.

It's a strange feeling to close the door on something that has been such a big part of our lives. There's excitement about the freedom that comes with retirement, but also an adjustment period as we figure out what this next chapter looks like.

For the first time in a long time, our future isn't being dictated by military orders or the possibility of another move.

And that feels pretty amazing.

Our Three Not-So-Little Babies

Somehow, Savannah is already nine, Madelynn is seven, and our baby boy, Benjamin, is FOUR!

I'm still trying to figure out how that happened.

Savannah and Maddie are growing up entirely too fast. They're settling into their new school, making friends, and finding their place here in North Carolina. Watching them grow into their own personalities has been one of the greatest joys of motherhood.

Then there's our sweet Ben. His story deserves a little more explanation because the past few years have brought some of the biggest challenges and changes our family has ever experienced.

Benjamin's Journey: Autism, Developmental Delays, and a Rare Genetic Diagnosis

If you've followed our family for a while, you probably remember Ben as our sweet little baby boy. What you may not know is just how much has happened since then.

When Ben was younger, his development seemed to be progressing normally. But somewhere around 14 months, we started noticing changes. Skills he had already developed began to disappear. Words, gestures, and little things we had taken for granted were suddenly gone. He stopped speaking, would not respond to his own name, and would not make eye contact with anyone.

At first, we hoped he was simply developing at his own pace. But as time went on, it became clear that something more was happening and it was honestly very hard to grasp.

After countless appointments, evaluations, and referrals, Ben was diagnosed with Level 3 Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, Global Developmental Delay, and significant receptive and expressive language delays.

Ben is now four years old and remains nonverbal.

He requires substantial support with everyday activities and needs constant supervision to keep him safe. He has very little awareness of danger, and his tendency to wander or run away has made safety one of our biggest concerns. Things that most families don't have to think twice about—opening a door, playing outside, going to a store, or even getting a full night's sleep—require an entirely different level of planning in our home.

Ben is a “sensory seeker” through and through. He experiences the world through movement, touch, sound, and exploration. He loves to climb, run, jump, splash in water, and feel everything around him. His little body is constantly searching for and honestly CRAVING sensory input. While that can make every day challenging and sometimes exhausting, it is also part of what makes his curiosity and excitement for the world SO SO BEAUTIFUL.

So, most of our days now are filled with therapies, appointments, research, paperwork, and advocating for the services and resources he needs. Just when we thought we were beginning to understand his diagnoses, we received another piece of the puzzle…

A Rare Genetic Diagnosis: CDK13

Genetic testing recently revealed that Ben has a pathogenic variant in a gene called CDK13. CDK13-related disorder is a rare genetic condition associated with developmental delays, speech and language difficulties, intellectual disabilities, and, in some cases, congenital heart abnormalities and other medical concerns.

Receiving this diagnosis brought a whole new set of questions.

It's difficult to explain what it feels like to learn that your child has a rare genetic condition—especially one that most people, including many medical professionals, have never heard of.

On one hand, having an answer can be reassuring. It gives us another piece of information to help us understand Ben and his development. On the other hand, it introduces SO many unknowns.

What will his future look like? Will he ever speak? How much independence will he eventually have? What other medical concerns should we be watching for?

Those are questions we simply don't have answers to right now.

Learning to live with that uncertainty has been one of the hardest parts of this journey for our family.

The Little Boy Behind the Diagnoses

But here's what I really want people to understand. Ben is so much more than a list of diagnoses. He's our adventurous, energetic, curious little boy who loves being outside, exploring the world, and finding joy in the most unexpected things. He has his own interests, his own ways of communicating, and a personality that is entirely his own. He experiences the world differently, and we're constantly learning how to better understand it alongside him.

Some days are exhausting. Some days are overwhelming. And some days, the smallest bit of progress feels like the biggest victory in the world.

Things that might seem insignificant to someone else can mean absolutely everything to us.

We're learning to celebrate those moments. We're also learning that progress doesn't always follow the timeline we imagined, and that's okay.

We don't know exactly what Ben's future holds, but we know we'll continue doing everything we can to give him the opportunities, support, and love he deserves.

Finding Our New Normal

If there's one thing the past few years have taught me, it's that life rarely unfolds the way we plan. When I imagined what our family would look like at this stage, I pictured three growing kids, school activities, family vacations, and all the usual chaos that comes with raising a family…

We certainly have plenty of that! But I never imagined how much of my time would be spent learning about developmental disorders, researching genetic conditions, navigating insurance, fighting for therapies, and advocating for my child's needs.

It's been an education I never expected to receive.

Some days, I feel like I've got everything figured out. Other days, I feel like I'm starting from scratch.

Somewhere in the middle of all of that, we're still trying to make sure Savannah and Maddie get the childhood experiences, attention, and memories they deserve, too.

Balancing everyone's needs isn't always easy. But we're figuring it out, one day at a time.

A Fresh Start in the Mountains

Despite the challenges, there is so much to be thankful for.

We have a beautiful new home in a place we love. Joey has completed an incredible military career. Our girls are growing and thriving. And Ben continues to teach us things about patience, perseverance, and unconditional love that we never could have learned any other way.

I'm grateful that this new chapter has given us the opportunity to slow down, focus on our family, and create a life that feels more permanent.

I don't know exactly what the next few years will bring. There will undoubtedly be more appointments, more challenges, more milestones, and probably a few surprises along the way.

But I'm hopeful. Hopeful for Ben's continued progress. Hopeful for the opportunities ahead of our girls. Hopeful for this new season of marriage and family life after the military. Hopeful that our family learns more about love, patience, grace, and faith… and hopeful that I'll actually manage to keep this blog updated a little more frequently!

If you've been following along since the beginning, thank you for still being here. Our life looks quite a bit different than it did when I last wrote, but I'm looking forward to sharing more of it. Here's to new beginnings, mountain living, and finding joy in the journey—even when the road looks nothing like when the road looks nothing like we expected.

WITH LOVE,

The Fodors